As I explained in my last Looking Back post, my birthday trip for 2015 included New York, London and Athens. Today, I thought I would post a few thoughts/observations from my time in Athens.

——————–

I was not expecting the smoking issue here. It seems Greece passed a smoking ban in restaurants in 2010, which was marginally enforced and then abandoned completely during the recession. Now, it is not clear which restaurants follow the law and which don’t. I learned of all of this when, on my first night here, the host was dragging me into the “smoking area.” I felt like I had gone back to North Carolina in the 1980s of my youth. I asked for non-smoking. But is there really any such thing as a non-smoking “section” of any restaurant that allows smoking?

———————–

I’ve enjoyed the food here: it has been high quality and very reasonably priced. But most of the dishes have been familiar and unsurprising until tonight when I had milk pie. Milk pie! Remember it because you will not want to miss it. It’s reminiscent of chess pie and buttermilk pie from the south with a phyllo crust. The filling is somewhere between cheese cake and cooked custard with a honey sweetness. Amazing! I don’t know why I have never seen it on a menu at a Greek restaurant in the US unless it’s because it’s difficult to make. Getting the consistency of the filling just right could be tricky, I imagine.

—————————

Last night while at dinner a 20-something man and woman were seated near me. At first I thought they were on a date, but then I realized he was way too excited to be with her (straight men don’t act like that) and she had that demeanor that says, “I’m glad to be hanging out with you but I know I’m not getting any later so I’m not that thrilled.” It was comfortingly familiar and made me miss my female friends.

It also made me ponder why gay men cling to their female friendships probably more than women cling to gay men. Maybe as women progress in their struggle for their own rights and as straight men respond to that changing dynamic, gay men offer less of a novel perspective. As straight men become more like their gay counterparts in the way that they view what constitutes masculinity, they are much less threatened by those strong women that have most often been the gay community’s greatest allies.

So where does that leave us as gay men? While straight men necessarily have access to that female energy within their romantic relationships, gay men don’t. We have to seek out those friendships with women that are crucial, I think, to having a balanced and healthy emotional life.

Despite all those heavy thoughts, as I left dinner and the conversation at the nearby table regarding life, work, and boyfriends, I couldn’t help but smile.